Heathrow Optimization

The Economist reports on “Heathrow Hell.” I generally agree, but I’ve found that the way to Heathrow Happiness, if you’re “redirecting” through Heathrow from the U.S., is to blow off the Transfer route if you’re transferring.

How do I do this? Upon arrival from the U.S., I’m supposed to turn right to get myself to the tranfer part of Heathrow. The first couple of times I did the SF -> Dublin journey via Virgin Atlantic, it never registered to make a right and go to Transfers, I just went straight for Arrivals. Technically, Arrivals are for people entering the UK. However I simply queued up, went through passport control to the underground from terminal 1 to 3 (or vice versa, can’t remember) walk the tunnel past the Underground station, check in at Aer Lingus and its multitude of kiosks, go through security, and go to the gate. No problems–you got a nice walk in, got to check out people in the tunnel, and generally it was a snap.

My most recent trip, I did the Arrival thing again but got stopped by a crusty curmudgeon who insisted that I go back to Transfers. I objected a little but followed his orders, because I realized that I had been probably breaking the rules and doubted my previous successful journeys. It sucked, because I had already spent a while in line and had to start over in an unknown. I should have pushed back but decided to queue properly as a good Brit would (despite the fact that everyone was going through Heathrow was probably a non-Brit). To my chagrin, I saw that people were queued up waiting for something–this something turned out to be a bus that took us to the other terminal.

After a while, I made it to the transfer area, which was flat-out miserable. I thought, “so this is what I’ve been missing.” It was crowded and infused with harried people freaking out and trying to make their flight. Instead of a multitude of check-in kiosks or desks like the departures area of the terminal, there was one single Aer Lingus rep who was dealing with people who were running late (I was not e-ticket). I was forced to submit myself to a single queue where I waited another half an hour for one agent to finally take care of me, at which time I missed my flight and had to wait two hours to get lucky with a standby flight.

I calculate that I lost 45 minutes to an hour via the transfer route instead of my regular, walk-to-the-terminal route. I had wondered why Heathrow caused people to complain. Heathrow appears oversubscribed as it stands, considering the Economist article, but I think a good deal of the pain is in this soul-sucking tranfer area.

My plan is to stick with the Arrivals trick. Any other tips or tricks for Heathrow?

Here’s one for Southwest–if you’re thirsty, rows 1, 9, and 17 are where drink service starts (three crew member take orders and delivers, heading back eight seats, from those positions)